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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
11:32 pm - Lonely
I'm lonely. i wanted things to turn out well so bad but now i think they won't. i don't want to be discouraging but its hard not to be. i hate being alone. and i don't want to be hurt, but it looks like i already am. im ruining things again. always being negative. maybe thats just who i am

current mood: lonely

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Monday, January 24th, 2005
11:44 pm
      
ryan adams are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

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Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
11:09 pm
So i really hate it when people say things about me when they were there and they know it didn't happen. Kristan knows what i am talking about (probably because she jsut told me lol) So i have not updated this thing in a while so i thought i would. Not a whole lot is going on. I have a ten page essay due next week AND so is my USD app! A little nervous about submitting that, plus i am not sure i did everything correctly. It would really suck if i didn't but I am retarded so i probably forgot something. I also am probably going to have another paper due in health thanks to my fantastic health class, that would rather have an essay then an in class essay which would be twenty times easier. Oh well... So on saturday Mary and I are jsut going to sit in front of my tv all day and all night and watch THE OC for 27 hrs straight! I can't wait. But time to go... time to sleep

current mood: confused

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Wednesday, October 20th, 2004
8:41 pm
So here are some pictures that I have finally downloaded from my camera which drunk tony broke.

Mary and I


My Dad...Yes hes wearing my Moms wedding viel. Jessica i thought you would appreciate this picture.


This is Adrienne. No words can describe this and surprisingly she was COMPLETELY sober for this picture. its a miracle! lol


Me in Spain... apparently i look high


And here is the lovely Kristan


and because i feel bad about posting a weird one of adrienne.. here is a better one

current mood: bored

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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
9:47 pm
well i was gunna write a nice long entry but i jsut looked at all this shit i have to do between college apps and school work that i don't have time. plus all the good stuff that happened lately people know about so no point writing. well im out. RYAN ADAMS CONCERT IS ONE WEDNESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

current mood: exhausted

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Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
10:56 pm
so lets see haven't updated in awhile and jessica told me to so here i am. the weekend was pretty fun. I hung out with a lot of people i don't normally hang out with. i think i hung out in downtown phill for like the whole freakin weekend, kinda loserish but whatever. On friday night i went to downtown with mary hopeing to find something to do and who do we find? no one else but kristan, carolyne, maddy, kalia, liz and sophie. I was so not expecting anyone to be downtown at all. So then we all decide to go to phill park and play capture the flag with some people i totally can't stand. But as we are waiting for the others to show up we were all listening to music and hanging out. tony and david were trying to do drunk handstands but it didn't work out too well. And then jsut as mike shows up he tells us all to leave because the janitor called the cops on us. Mary and i get the hell out of there with tony and david because we are driving them and we don't want to get caught with hell of drunk people in our car. So we all meet back downtown. Oh yeah i saw nick there earlier before we left to go play capture the flag! Once we are downtown we jsut sat around for awhile until most people left. then sophie, mary, sophie's friend miles and i decide to go to chef burger. I love that place. it was so much fun. mary is so gullible. sophie literally told her gullible was written on the door about ten times and she looked every time. so funny but i guess that might only be funny at one in the morning. after that mary and i went back to my house and fell asleep.

On saturday i had work and then my parents had a garage sale and i had to help out with that but after i met liz, sophie, mary, kristan and carolyne in broadway plaza. big msitake. there was absolutely nothing open there so of course we go back to downtown phill. Nick is there and i end up hanging out with him the whole night. at one point all of us ended up sitting in my car and lsitening to techno/the de la salle game (yes they lost. boohoo. and that is totally sarcastic). Jeff ended up showing up but got pissed and almsot cried because kristan went to go hit on another guy. and then matt callahan showed up but i didnt talk to him thank god. i really don't like short people. then later that night we are all hanging out in front of jamba juice and this little white ghetto kid starts to try and start a fight. he tried to slap this guy who was a friend of someones (not sure whos) and then he spits on nick and i and then kicks my car and security is standing right there! and they refused to do anything! and then they yelled at us for loitering when nick, the other kid and i got assaulted! i mean what the fuck is that? then after we get kicked out of downtown phill we go to nations where we learn de la salle lost their game. everyone i was with except for nick was going crazy like saying the felt sick and stuff. I'm like damn its jsut a football game calm down but clearly i go to the wrong school. then after i went home.


on sunday my family had a barbeque. it was none too exciting but jessica and adrienne came and our margaritas ended up melting jsut a little too fast. whoops. and then we go over to adriennes dads house and watch part of eurotrip! i love that movie! and then tiffany shows up and we go back to my hosue to eat. we then head to downtown phill AGAIN but this time we end up going to adriennes moms house because its empty. People show up and of course tony got trashed. then tiffany and jessica stole his car and drove it to wc. They got mad when i told them i had to brign it back. sorry guys. And then nick shows up and you know what? for the third night in a row we hang out and NOTHING happens!!!!!!!!!!!! but ya and then we all leave because we all have to be home relatively early.


Monday i went to mikes house. it was ok. i sorta swam but the water was freezing so i left pretty early and then i came home and did some homework i think. i don't remember. monday wasn't too exciting. Then today at lunch Adrienne and Nick show up too bad they were only there for like five minutes because they came late.

And thats the recap of my life i believe. Oh favorite quotes from this weekend:

"agile? dont you mean fragile?" that one curtousy of mary who didn't know agile was a word

"NO" cutousy of john as adrienne stared at the martini shaker.

current mood: content

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Saturday, September 4th, 2004
1:24 am
so this week has been pretty good. Lunch has been fun. Drawing all over Jessica woohoo! Ummm... yeah i don't have much to say and i have decided to fuck capital letters because its late. tonight was fun. mary and i met a whole bunch of people downtown and then i saw Nick. that made my day a little. too abd nothing happened again!!!!!!!! im starting to doubt anything will happen. oh well time ti move on i guess. but im going its late and i have work tomorrow later.

current mood: tired

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Monday, August 30th, 2004
10:39 pm
i feel like shit... like depressed feel like shit :(

current mood: depressed

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Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
11:28 pm
shit I have to bring an old binder to school tomorrow and find my old english teacher to get her to change my grade. Damn i'll also probably have to bring a backpack too to carry everything. Damnit! School pisses me off so much! So do the three sentence journal entries but thats my fault.

current mood: annoyed

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11:26 pm
Oh I also would like to say that its the first day of school and I forgot to bring home my math book. I'm a genius. Well I always have lunch to do it. And no one better get cupcake on my purse tomorrow!

current mood: pissed off

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11:24 pm
I hate school. I am seriously thinking about transfering to college park. The only thing stopping me now is college. What if the college looks down on the fact that I transfered senior year? But then agian you never know until you try

current mood: bitchy

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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
3:36 pm
so the grand total of guys is....... 16!! Damn i'm a slut and I am loving it!

current mood: accomplished

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3:33 pm
shit I forgot one more person and this one I am not proud of. Chris Duffy. need I say more

current mood: disappointed

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1:49 am
Shit I did forget one. Andrew, my prom date. I was trying to forget about that one. I obviously didn't drink enough that night because i still remember making out with him. Gross and he smokes too so it was like twice as bad. Yuck. Iv'e grossed myself out.

current mood: uncomfortable

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1:37 am
So I am super bored. I have decided to make a list of all the guys I have ever made out with. It might seem slutty but I am so deal with it. I embrace my sluttiness and I am throughly enjoying it!

Brian K.
Dereck
Adam
Brian (different one obviously)
Conor
Phil
Mike
Tony
Toby
Ross
Ben
Marcel
Richard
Chad

I think thats all of them but I am really tired so i could be wrong. Hopefully I will be adding Nick to the list but I am thinking now that I jsut want to be friends with him more then anything. I almost don't care about hooking up with him, more then anything i jsut want to be his friend. I think. But it is late so i could be confused. I know I am attracted to him but I dunno if anything will ever happen. :( We will have to see.

current mood: drained

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1:05 am
So anyways time to finish the Truckee/Reno story even though there isn't much fun in Reno. So anyways the next day we decided to go to the marina but we are dumb and went to the wrong marina. So we decide to see if we can get a ride from one end of donner lake to the other end. So Adrienne, Mary and I are standing on the side of the road trying to wave down some hot boys to pick us up, hopefully one we knew. Then a car full of guys stops and asks us what we needed. We told them we needed a ride to the other side of the lake and then they said their car was too full and to just take the trolley. So we honestly waited there for about another hour or so and tried to wave down cars. A couple of cars stopped but no one wanted to give us a ride. One car stopped in the middle of the road made a u-turn and then came up to us. We were so excited because we thought we had a ride but then the roll down the window say "your not Erin" and then drive away. It was not cool. So then after awhile we call Riley but we remember he was working so he doesn't answer. Then i have an idea to call Chad. So I call him and he answered suprisingly. It was so strange becuase I told him we were standing in a trolley station and he goes, "Oh the one near West End Beach?" Which was exactly where we were. Then he says that he drove by earlier and saw us but sadly didnt stop. By that time the trolley, well actually it was a bus, came by and picked us up for free. I told Chad we were on our way to see Matt the guy Adrienne had met up there last time we were up in Truckee. Matt and Chad used to be friends, but I told him we would come by later.

Then we got to the right marina. It was kind of interesting becuase Matt is kind of a strange kid. Like he told Adrienne he brought a gun to school just to impress her and he said all this other shit but apparently it was all lies. I don't really know and I don't really care. And then while we were at the marina this other guy Morgan called and invited us to hang out with him later that night which would have been awesome because he is hot and totally had the party hook-up. So we leave the marina about an hour later after all that trouble finding it and spending $7 to get in. What a waste of money.

So then we go back to the cabin and change and stuff and get ready to go over to Chad's house. We finally get to Chad's house around 6ish I believe and we had to wait for him to get out of the shower. Then we went on his trampoline and he was hell of making fun of adrienne because she was acting like a retard. It was fun. He is so funny. Its adorable. And then my dad came back because he dropped us off and Mary and Adrienne go with him to drop him back off at the cabin, because he went out to dinner, leaving Chad and I alone in his empty house. ;) Lol. So we went and we hung out in his room and you know the sad thing? Nothing happened between us at all the whole time I was in his room! It was almost devestating but then as I was leaving we hugged and then ended up making out. Ahhh. Lol. I'm a slut and I love it! Hehe.

Then after Chad's house Mary, Adrienne and I went to Dairy Queen to get a quality dinner. Lol. We were bored so we called up Riley again and we ended up meeting him at some diner in downtown truckee. The thing was he couldn't even hang out because he had to head back to Reno where he lives. So then after like a five minute converstaion with him and his really strange friends we decide we are jsut going to hang out in downtown truckee. So we are walking around Truckee and the main strip has like three bars and so we end up being asked if we want to go to a "pleasure party" in one of the bars. We sadly had to tell them we weren't 21. So then we go a little farther past the bar and end up sitting on a bench. Very exciting, if I don't say so myself lol. But then as we are sitting there the guy who asked us to go to the bar comes over, his name is mark, and we jsut start talking to him. He was totally wasted. too much yegermister for the guy. But it was interesting. Adrienne ended up drinking almost all my vodka and she got really wasted too. It was actaully fun, we were just hanging out and talking. Then we called Morgan back and he told us he was at the best western so we went out to see him. He supposedly had a hotel party but when we got to the hotel he wouldn't answer his phone so we didnt know what room he was in so we jsut went back to the bar and hung out with Mark and some of his friends until one in the morning.

The bad thing was Adrienne ended up getting hell of sick and she lost her cell phone. We believe Mark has it because we called the next day and a guy answered and said he had the phone. He gave us directions but by the time we got to Tahoe City we had forgotten them. My dad wasn't too happy about that but he got over it. Then we drove over to Reno to see Adrienne's sister. I thought it was going to be hell of fun because we would have a lot of freedom and Riley was there but I was wrong. Adrienne's sister was very protective so we didn't go out besides the mall and we basically watched tv for three straight days, you have got to love Noggin. I love Degrassi and Daria and Radio Free Roscoe. Call me a loser but I love it, too bad I don't get the channel at home.


Oh yeah I also forgot to talk about our soccer tournament last weekend in Auburn. That was fun then but now it is having some repercussions, I guess you could say. Adrienne and I were staying at my godmother, Linda's house with my family and whenever we go up Linda always makes margaritas. so Adrienne and I had about 3 maragaritas on saturday night and then my dad tells us we are going to dinner with our soccer team. Everything was going well until the girls on the team started to believe we were drunk which was total bullshit because we weren't even tipsy but yeah. So I guess while we were in Reno one of the parents called my Dad to let him know that we were drinking at the team dinner. Supposedly we had bottles in our purses and were drinking the whole time. Its all total bullshit but apparently we are going to have to apologise in front of the whole team and the parents. Its so retarded becuase we didn't even do anything wrong. My PARENTS gave me the fucking margaritas and now its all my fault. It technically my Dad's fault because he was the one who gave us the margaritas and then took us to dinner, he should of known! But now I have to take full responsibility. Its total bullshit!


But on a lighter note while we were in Auburn our tennis boys showed up to watch our last game. Clay (very hot) and Sam showed up and they brought their hot friend Tommy. Adrienne and I then ended up going to lunch with them. It was a lot of fun. Too bad they are all going off to college. Adrienne, Mary and I had an interesting talk with Clay while we were in Reno. We figured out that when Clay comes back for Christmas break I get Clay and Adrienne gets Tommy. Mary sort of got left out of the picture just because they don't know her but oh well. We also had a talk with Clay about his weirdest sex experience. I think he thinks we have had sex but we haven't so I hope he won't be too dissapointed. Well actually I don't care becuase hopefully I will have sex soon. Its really not a big deal for me, the first time, you know? I kind of think its jsut better to get it over with and not deal with all the pressure that is put on it. But whatever. I most likely will have sex by December anyways lol because I am a slut. And I guess I will end it on that note becuase well its true lol. Peace bitches! lol.

current mood: bouncy

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Saturday, August 21st, 2004
4:13 pm
So... so much shit has gone on since I last wrote in here. I just spent this whole week in Truckee/Reno. Tuckee was fucking awesome! I love Truckee! The first day we were there kind of sucked because Adrienne and I had nothing to do but then Mary showed up on Monday and we honestly drove around for like 2hours trying to find something to do. Then we decided to head to the football field to see if any guys were there and surprisingly this guy Adrienne and I met last winter was there. His name is Riley and so we give him our number and tell him to call us later if he wants to hang out. Then later he calls, of course lol, and we meet him at the Round Table. While we were waiting, we were trying to figure out what kinds of friends Riley would bring. Mary insisted he would bring a chinese and iranian with him and their names would be Wnag Chang and Ezikial. Kind of racist, yes, but funny none the less. Then when Riley shows up it turns out not to be a Chinese and Irainian but a Mexican and an African American. It was really funny because Truckee is predominatly white so I guess we met the only black guy there. So we just hung out with those guys for awhile.

The next day we decided to go to the marina because one of our friends works there but we got confused we went to the wrong marina. but I gotta go stuff to do. I'll finish later

current mood: quixotic

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Thursday, August 12th, 2004
12:27 am
So the party tonight at Adrienne's was a whole lot of fun. Tony was drunk as usual, Adrienne was gone and I was sober surprisingly. Lol. No I am a good girl. So Nick was at the party. He got his eyebrow pierced! Ahh it looks good! lol. So the only downside was Krista being there but she is always a downer. Not a big fan of her. God i went swimming tonight at Adrienne's. It was so freaking cold! But it was fun. At the end of the night Nick and I ended up on the bed with Tony and Krista it was fun minus the Krista laying on Nick's lap but whatever. I know he wants to hook up with me but he feels awkward around krista because I think she likes him. But whatever hopefully everthing will work out in my favor because Krista is a little bitch and doesn't deserve anyone. Lol I sound jealous. I guess I sorta am but I'll get over it I guess. Anyways no more Nick talk. I'm out

current mood: bouncy

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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
1:05 am
I love cookies. i just made chocolate chip cookies. I Love them. Hehe. I realized today that my shoe fetish has exploded. I went to target and I got awesome shoes! They are black and pointed and they have three buckles on them. I found a pair in blue too and I want to buy them so bad! Ah its so pathetic, my shoe fetish but whatever.

There may a big problem with my Tahoe plans. Mary can't go because she doesn't get back from Florida until Sunday night and we would be going up on Sunday after our soccer games and maybe stopping to hang out with the tennis boys in Auburn. But yeah so Mary can't go and now my parents don't want Adrienne and I to go alone because of the whole driving issue! Its so frusturating that we might not be able to go because of some stupid law! I'm hoping Sophie will be able to go though but she isn't sure her Dad will let her drive there. I basically told her to tell her dad that I would drive so we can go. My Dad offered to go with us but it totally isn't the same. There definatly would not be any parties if my Dad went. How are we supposed to do all our fun stuff with all our hot tahoe boys if my dad is there?!?!?! It just wouldn't work out too well. So I'm hoping Sophie will be able to go. I am praying!

current mood: anxious

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Friday, August 6th, 2004
1:18 pm
So not much has been going on here. I have hung out with Adrienne a lot but does that surprise anyone? No. Ummm lets see what else have I been doing. I have my first soccer tournament of the season tomorrow. It should be interesting because i pretty much hate my team. They are so young i guess thats how to describe them. They are immature and it pisses me off. But yeah. Oh i have been working on college essays. That has been a lot of fun. My parents are making me write them in the summer. It sucks. Because of these essays I have discovered I am a terrible writer. I just suck. I also can't write about myself for crap. I hate writing personal essays. I hate writing about myself and what traits I have and all that college essay crap. I am so not getting into college just because of these damn essays.

current mood: hungry

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